Investments.

Out of the blue, a few nights ago, in bed, I told him that men have been my worst investment to date and this came from someone who has zero savings and investments of any sort; unless of course we count insurances as a form of investment.

I mumbled about how I spent my youth, my life, my energy, my time and perhaps even money on my ex- boyfriend only to break up after six years. He had the best of me and to be honest, the worst of me. I was young and temperamental. I was bursting with life and hard to keep up with. He saw me through my last year in polytechnic, cheered me as I graduated in Australia, hugged me when I got my first job and then retrenched, took care of me when I stayed at his place for three months during the airlines training program and so much more. Together, we had built a treasure of memories and experiences, almost ready to take the relationship to the next stage – marriage – when the balloon burst in my very own hands.

How could love hurt me? I was in a pathetic state for a few months before my new job got me really busy and the hurt started to, not hurt.

A year later, Timmy who was working at the same agency asked me out after we had shared some exchanges at a beer party. On the second anniversary of our relationship, we said WE DO.

Our relationship wasn’t all smooth, from the beginning. He was in another relationship while seeing me on the sides. I tried walking away but he needed time, he said, to tie up loose ends. Then his mum turned into a monster when she found out that he had proposed to me, a non-believer then. As with all weddings, we needed to find funds, find a church who would marry us, find a home and more funds and this and that. Timmy remained focused and patient. I wavered when the situation sometimes got ugly and unnecessary.

And we married, oh that miraculous day! I never imagined myself to be in a white wedding gown walking down the aisle of a church with my dad. But I did. A dream I never dreamt.

But that was just the wedding. Perhaps an event to some extent. But the reality is; it was just the beginning of what we call a marriage.

We are different; not just gender wise obviously. We came from different backgrounds and family settings. I doubt there is any similarity in us. We are different. And to an extent, that keeps us and our marriage alive.

I can point out many areas of improvement for him; one good example would be how he should always listen to me. And without batting his eyelid, he will have a list of areas I should really work hard on, for instance, patience.

Being the vocal one in the relationship, I’m pretty darn good at articulating weakness and mapping ways for improvement. He, the gracious one, listens only.

So on that sleepless night, I let it out – my investment in him, is not profitable. I wanted an audience with my fund manager, I told him.

He laughed. I giggled.

My best investment to date is Jesus, I heard myself say. I did nothing but have everything. To this, even my unprofitable investment agreed.

To God Be The Glory.

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simple and nice!

was the theme of my long weekend! Praise God!

Friday saw us sleeping much longer than usual, spending more time in the shower, simple and unhurried lunch at a nearby mall, awesome picnic at the Botanical Gardens with my two precious ones, a leisurely walk through Ikea where the little one pointed out to all the things she wanted in her room and finally local delights at Holland Village!

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Then the usual weekend arrived where a quarter of Saturday saw me housekeeping and the evening was spent at Granny’s baking simple biscuits for our upcoming new year! Wish I had taken a shot of us kneading and moulding!

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As I savour the rest of the remaining long weekend, l am so overwhelmed with how the simplicity of a holiday with loved ones is more than sufficient.

My heart is so full of thanksgiving for all that I got to enjoy this weekend.

Perhaps this is a reminder of what I have always wanted in my life since a few years ago – simplicity and peace.

I hope to be reminded everyday of this as I seem to have forgotten in the last few months.

And while he is down under!

I had the privilege of spending the weekend with my little one who wraps up her seven-week break this weekend! How perfect the timing!

We shopped for a new pair of footwear for the new semester, had our favourite ayam penyat which was too much for our stomachs but she still took away a slice of pizza from sarpino’s for supper, painted her nails in a sweet red to match the highlights she had quietly introduced to her dark brown hair (I’m tempted too!), scrubbed and masque-ed her face and we chatted freely on a variety of topics – she wants to go down under for a holiday, she wants to work for six months and travel for six and then work for six (what the?!), university, her lecturers for the new semester, how she was bored the night before and so googled on directions to Jurong from our parents place (what?!), how she now knows why Australia is called down under and her 18th birthday which is five months away.

18th birthday? Just not too long ago, I saw her sleeping soundly, all wrapped up in a pink swaddle. Soft and Nice. I think l fell in love for the very first time in my life.

The rain has just started and the breeze feels so soft and nice on my neck.

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a windy monday.

seeking led me to a lot of gold online and out of those, He reached out to me in these words and though there is no use for them now, i can’t let go.

The bread from heaven;

Was betrayed for silver.

The lamb that was slain

became the chief cornerstone.

The Great I AM

says He is

The Beginning and the End.

Perhaps He was only reaching out to me. Perhaps these are for my own pleasure. Perhaps He was saying ‘I LOVE YOU” when l was tripping last week.

All l know is l feel a lot lighter today. My tshirt feels loose, my jeans keeps dropping and my steps slower. And l am in love with the wind that is blowing at me; telling me to enjoy what He is doing.