Out of the blue, a few nights ago, in bed, I told him that men have been my worst investment to date and this came from someone who has zero savings and investments of any sort; unless of course we count insurances as a form of investment.
I mumbled about how I spent my youth, my life, my energy, my time and perhaps even money on my ex- boyfriend only to break up after six years. He had the best of me and to be honest, the worst of me. I was young and temperamental. I was bursting with life and hard to keep up with. He saw me through my last year in polytechnic, cheered me as I graduated in Australia, hugged me when I got my first job and then retrenched, took care of me when I stayed at his place for three months during the airlines training program and so much more. Together, we had built a treasure of memories and experiences, almost ready to take the relationship to the next stage – marriage – when the balloon burst in my very own hands.
How could love hurt me? I was in a pathetic state for a few months before my new job got me really busy and the hurt started to, not hurt.
A year later, Timmy who was working at the same agency asked me out after we had shared some exchanges at a beer party. On the second anniversary of our relationship, we said WE DO.
Our relationship wasn’t all smooth, from the beginning. He was in another relationship while seeing me on the sides. I tried walking away but he needed time, he said, to tie up loose ends. Then his mum turned into a monster when she found out that he had proposed to me, a non-believer then. As with all weddings, we needed to find funds, find a church who would marry us, find a home and more funds and this and that. Timmy remained focused and patient. I wavered when the situation sometimes got ugly and unnecessary.
And we married, oh that miraculous day! I never imagined myself to be in a white wedding gown walking down the aisle of a church with my dad. But I did. A dream I never dreamt.
But that was just the wedding. Perhaps an event to some extent. But the reality is; it was just the beginning of what we call a marriage.
We are different; not just gender wise obviously. We came from different backgrounds and family settings. I doubt there is any similarity in us. We are different. And to an extent, that keeps us and our marriage alive.
I can point out many areas of improvement for him; one good example would be how he should always listen to me. And without batting his eyelid, he will have a list of areas I should really work hard on, for instance, patience.
Being the vocal one in the relationship, I’m pretty darn good at articulating weakness and mapping ways for improvement. He, the gracious one, listens only.
So on that sleepless night, I let it out – my investment in him, is not profitable. I wanted an audience with my fund manager, I told him.
He laughed. I giggled.
My best investment to date is Jesus, I heard myself say. I did nothing but have everything. To this, even my unprofitable investment agreed.
To God Be The Glory.