37 weeks!

Praise The Lord for He is good. Make that awesome!

We turned 37 weeks yesterday baby boy! You are growing mightily well as we saw at Dr Kee’s yesterday. He measured you at 3.2kg to which both Daddy and Mummy exclaimed rather loudly that it was too much weight gain and impossible! And all three of us burst out laughing! I asked Dr Kee to redo the ultra sound another two times and once we saw your weight as 3kg, we said “okay that sounds just about right!”

Daddy and Mummy must be the only parents on earth who don’t want their kid to be heavy! I guess we want the best for you which means to be well and healthy. Your weight gain has been steady since week 30; 200g per week. You are doing well my champion!

And you listen to us too! Just like we told you a week ago to stay warm and cosy in Mummy’s oven while Daddy and l take this week to spend time together before Daddy begins his new job next Monday; you did it and we are so proud of you! We really are!

Mummy can’t help but keep thanking Jesus for choosing us to be your parents! We are so blessed so very blessed to be your parents!

Mummy has stopped the medication that was meant to help prevent premature labour two days ago. We first started by reducing the dosage two weeks ago and finally stopped on Wed. Mummy was nervous the last two weeks wondering if the reduced dosage would have any effect and I had to once again rely on The Word to remember that Jesus is my healer and that he didn’t bring me this far to be a worry wart. Perhaps worrying makes me feel like a better mummy?!

I love your movements now. So real so very real. And I have to tell myself that yes you are real. There is a baby in me. I am not dreaming.

You are very alert and responsive; you move everytime time we stroke or call you. For the first time, Daddy’s mum saw your movement and she was so excited. I have noticed that you hardly move whenever we are visiting her and once we leave her place, we see all your dance moves. So thank you baby boy for making your Grandma happy. She is eagerly looking forward to your arrival!

A few friends have checked in with us to find out if you have arrived and we are so blessed to be able to tell them that you are staying cozy for a while more. Jesus indeed gets all the glory in this pregnancy.

Daddy would like you to stay cozy and warm in Mummy’s oven for another week so that he gets to have his first week at work. Which sounds just about right as we will be 38 weeks next Thursday. We have always been praying for a full term pregnancy and thus looking forward to 21 Nov as your birthday. 21 also means a lot to us; we got married on 21 Sept and Mummy’s birthday is 21 Dec. As you have heard by now, we are singing a different tune now. Primarily because Mummy wants to deliver you with ease and we suspect at full term, you may be too big for Mummy. But we also want to see you already. Like really want to see you!

We have shifted all the things we need for our stay at Mummy’s parents’ home and our hospital bags are packed. Your Chinese name is also settled. I am just left with revising the breathing techniques. Daddy is insisting I do that next week while he is at work.

While we were shifting our necessities to my parents’ place, Mummy was overwhelmed. The reality of you and the change that is ahead of me felt so real. Nervous but excited. Mostly, Mummy feels very blessed to have been given the opportunity to be your mum.

A few weeks ago, during personal time, I came across this verse – God has blessed you above all women, and your child is blessed.

Indeed God has been gracious and full of love towards Mummy.

Keep cozy and warm Baby Boy.

Love,
Your number one fan – Mummy.

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Counting down.

We have reached 33 weeks. To many, it could be no big deal. But for us baby boy, it is a purely by grace we are here today, with you still in my womb. I know you feel the same way too.

Five weeks ago, on a Tuesday night, we found ourselves in the delivery ward. Mummy made my way to the A&E for what I thought was a minor discomfort caused by a fibroid. As we were almost 28 weeks pregnant then, the attending doctor suggested that I head up to the delivery ward where they will have the necessary equipment to check the cause of pain while they reach our gyne to check on his availability to attend to me.

Mummy honestly didn’t think much of all these till Dr Kee who happened to be at the hospital at the same time for delivery, came around to see me and told me that I was having contractions, five mins apart. Mummy was surprised as I didn’t feel any pain except at the location of the fibroid. Dr Kee had to do a cervix examination to make sure I was not dilated and praise Jesus, Mummy wasn’t. He proceeded to put me on medication to stop the contractions.

For the first time in Mummy’s life, a drip was inserted in my hand and I spent 8 nights in the hospital for observation.

The day I was discharged, 3 Sept, Mummy knew for herself that The Word; God’s Word is alive, it is true and it is mighty!

Mummy has been resting at home since then. I’m sure you knew this too as you would have felt your usually active Mummy hardly move the first few weeks.

It was very uncomfortable for Mummy initially; dealing with fear of premature labour and delivery as well as frustration of the unexpected and unnecessary situation I found myself in and the lost of my freedom. Mummy had to depend on Jesus and His word everyday. Daddy and I partook of the Holy Communion many times a day to remember that He is with us and will not forsake us. Nights were the hardest for me. I was worried something may happen and we will be helpess. When mornings came, I was so grateful. When Thursdays came, I did a victory dance as it meant you are a week older. When Oct came, Mummy was speechless.

We saw you at Dr Kee’s yesterday and you my beloved is doing mighty well. So we have seven more weeks to go, baby boy.

Just seven.

I pray these few weeks go slow and comfortable for us both.

Completely in love with you, baby boy.

I missed Sunday!

But thank god, this Monday, l have a chance to rest at home. What was a sore throat turned into flu, complete with nasty phlegm and an even nastier cough that hurts my stomach. I doubt you liked the cough and the weird noises Mummy had to make to get that green monster out of me.

And it all started with a pack of Lays sour cream potato chips Mummy devoured on Tuesday night with Daddy.

After five days, I succumbed to seeing Dr Koh yesterday morning and heard the dreaded word – antibiotics. Mummy’s not a fan of medicine and usually stays away as much as possible and it’s usually a success but now pregnant with you, I try to be wiser. I am feeling a lot better now as evident in the phlegm I spat this morning but damn the cough.

So on a Monday, Mummy is seated at her favorite corner. I have so much to write to you and I don’t even know where to start. Perhaps every time, something crosses my mind, I should write it down here but that just doesn’t seem like the purpose of this space.

Oh we celebrated my daddy’s 60th birthday on 7 Aug at a small cozy cafe and we were surprised when the staff came with a yummy slice of cheesecake. I had only told them about the birthday at the time of arrival so that they could keep the cake we brought in their fridge during our dinner.

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So we headed to my grandma’s place after dinner to cut the actual birthday cake!

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And two day ago on Sat, we had another dinner celebration with two of Grandpa’s siblings and his mum. Mummy’s grandma initiated this dinner to show her love for her son and she also felt that she may not be around to see another child of hers turn 60. She even bought gorgeous Indian outfits for both grandpa and grandma. And we had another cake!

What a 60th birthday celebration! Three cakes! Perhaps each to celebrate two decades of his life. I can’t wait for you to meet him; to know my daddy and what a wonderful man he is. On his birthday morning, I sent him a birthday text to wish him and to declare that The Lord will bless him with long satisfying life and that he will see you grow and become a man. And l will see this journey my daddy takes with you and be very glad.

Mummy is reminded of this verse > Isaiah 60:5 – Then I will look and be radiant, my heart will throb and swell with joy.

You have grown so much. Your movements are somewhat different compared to just a few weeks ago. Now, you respond to my touch and I can almost feel you. I gather your hearing is fully developed as you respond to your pet name. I sense you understand what I am telling you as well. A few nights ago, Mummy was going to fall asleep and you started to get active. But almost immediately, you slowed down when you heard us tell you that it’s bed time for us and to play in quiet.

With all that you have been the last twenty six weeks – my silent supporter when I was battling fatigue and work in the first trimester, my strong champion during a viral infection that saw me puking bags of vomit and my energizer bunny that allows me to do anything I want despite being pregnant – I love you baby boy.

Mummy will miss being pregnant with you. I hope the days ahead slow down for me to treasure and remember this journey. I doubt anything in life can come close to this. I can’t even articulate what it means to me other than in these mediocre word – magical.

I was reminding Daddy a few days ago that five years ago in 2009, we were preparing for our wedding and our home; all in 9 months. Fast forward to 2014, it feels like déjàvu. 2009 was purely by God’s grace. And nothing has changed in 2014; all by his Grace.

Love,
Mama

It’s Sunday!

Mummy is back at her favourite spot and listening to my favourite music. You listen to it every other night too if I didn’t have a long day at work and Mummy is hoping you will love it as much as I do.

Daddy is still in bed playing with his phone. I usually nag at him to wake up but the realization that he may not have much time to himself once you are here is real so he gets his me-time.

And I kind of like it that it’s just you and me at my favourite spot with soft music in the background.

The pillow on my stomach is moving thanks to your gentle kicks. You should be more than 24 weeks today; I will know the exact details when I visit Dr Kee tomorrow. It has been more than 3 weeks since we saw you and Mummy is hoping you will give me a nice view of your face. You seem to have grown quite a bit if I go by my belly. It feels like a dream to know I went from nothing to you.

Mummy never quite appreciated the fact that I’m a woman. I used to think how troublesome it was when I was much younger. The periods, the label of being the weaker sex, the need to look oneself, the roles of being a wife etc. I always felt man had it better. And I still do.

But today, I see a different light, thanks to you baby boy. If I am not a woman, I will not feel your moves and kicks. I will not be able caress my bulging belly and tell you how much I love you. I will not get to enjoy this unprecedented privilege of pregnancy and eventually motherhood. And I’ll not hear you call me mummy!

So today I sing a different song. Today I’m honored to be a woman. All the thoughts I previously had fails to measure up to the journey I am on and the journey that is ahead.

I can feel the excitement in my heart and ever so often, I catch myself smiling whenever I think of you in my arms. At yesterday’s prenatal class, they taught on breastfeeding and we had a doll baby to play with. How I wished it was you instead. “Soon soon” I told myself.

Mummy still needs these four more months to prepare so let’s not hurry all right darling.

Loving you more every single day, my baby boy.

Any other Sunday.

It was normal to think that it would be, any other Sunday. But 16 March wasn’t.

Mummy woke up to pee. Since my usually on-time period was a day late, I decided to prepare my sanitary pad. And oddly, mummy also decided to take out the pregnancy test kit daddy had bought for the previous month but didn’t get a chance to use as the period arrived just mins before daddy came home with the kit.

Mummy sat down on the toilet bowl, looked and there were no stains or spots. I must have contemplated if I should open up the pregnancy kit just in case it goes to waste. I must have also said a prayer. All these must have taken place at lightening speed otherwise the bladder would beat me to it.

Mummy must have felt pretty bold that Sunday morning for l tore that kit open and quickly glanced through the instructions. I must have done this at least four times in my entire life. But neither had much courage nor confidence to do so in the last three years; perhaps once or twice if l remember correctly.

So mummy did as the kit instructed and laid it to rest on the toilet counter. I watched the window on the kit as if it was the gate to my future. I kept comparing what I saw to the pictures on the kit, to make sure I interpreted the results correctly. Mummy wasn’t particularly an ace in experiments and science in school as you can guess.

I called for daddy; actually yelled for him. He, who was asleep throughout my experiment, joined me at our toilet counter. And together, we saw our future; in a tiny window on a nondescript pregnancy kit.

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Predictably, dear daddy needed to check the instructions on the kit just to make sure mummy was accurate in the interpretation. Like hello!

We hugged and hugged and laughed and hugged more.

That Sunday afternoon, in church, my heart overflowing with joy, I praised Him. Though it was just the beginning of the journey, I could see Him with us all the way.

Many Sundays later, sitting at my favourite spot at home; where I can see the word ‘hope’ hanging carefully on the TV and the beautiful clouds through the living room windows; mummy is feeling so blessed.

So blessed that I took this journey with Jesus. So blessed that He gave me the strength to trust Him. So blessed that I believed in Him and that He was more than sufficient. So blessed that I stopped condemning myself for my past and for not trying hard enough for you; like other mummies. So blessed that Daddy never rushed me or us. So blessed that this took time; time that may seem too long for others and even to me, at times. So blessed that I didn’t give up on Jesus or me or my body. Just so blessed. And so blessed to have you.

Another 15 more Sundays before you join me at my favorite spot at home. Love you baby boy.

a Sunday morning.

I have tasked daddy to make breakfast so that I can lie in bed and watch you move in my belly. I see my belly somewhat shiver and move up and down. I wonder what you are doing in there, baby boy.

You are one active boy and mummy hasn’t quite figured out your schedule.
There are days where you are active all day long and then days, I hardly feel you till night comes.

I call you sometimes just to make sure you are okay and at times, you respond by moving and that makes me feel, so loved, by you. If I can add, you are a real champion for making your presence felt much sooner; at sixteen weeks or so.

Two days ago, we went for our 21st week gyne visit and Dr Kee showed us a 3D pic of you but it was distorted due to your activeness. You are doing mighty well; weighing almost 500g. The report from the fetal abnormality test was out and bless The Lord that He has made you wonderful and perfect.

We have less than 20 weeks to go before we meet for the first time. This is a date I am so looking forward to and I hope, you are too. Mummy will try to be as lady-like as possible and baby boy, pls be a gentleman.

I never knew I could like someone I have never met before. But boy, am l in love.