last days.

so yesterday morning i woke up to an email from my little sister. it was a youtube link that she sent together with a note on how she cried her eyes out. intrigued to find out what could make the tough girl cry, i quickly hopped over to the link to find out that it was this

i watched the first 5mins in my pjs and was going to sob when the reality of a work day set in. but the first 20mins of my work day was spent watching the entire video and finishing a pack of tissue. i also ended up watching the other videos of the same theme when i got home.

predictably, i started feeling really miserable to know that lives of nice and normal people are ending way too abruptly. all thanks to the big C. i questioned myself on how i will deal with it if i were in their position. i wondered if the big and painful C is that real and big that it could break families, make many cry and end precious lives so easily.

if this week is my last, what would i do?

i would look for my grandma on my 1st day, my dad on the 2nd day, mum on the 3rd, my second sister on the 4th day, precious little sister on the 5th day, timmy on my sixth day and keep the very last day to myself. i havent got a clue what i will do with my loved ones but perhaps just lay my heads on their laps and look into their eyes. just to feel that love and remember them as they remember me when i am gone.

as these pathetic scenes went through my head last night, i could not help but feel really sad though i knew it will be the arms of jesus that i will be running into when i leave what i have known and become attached to all this while.

fragile. delicate. life is.

like zach said in his video, keep life simple.

it is not about how little or how much we have, it is what we do with it.