a blank piece of paper has never scared me this much till today. just staring at it makes my heart go that little faster. While I’m conscious of its emptiness, I am also excited of its potential.


a windy monday.

seeking led me to a lot of gold online and out of those, He reached out to me in these words and though there is no use for them now, i can’t let go.

The bread from heaven;

Was betrayed for silver.

The lamb that was slain

became the chief cornerstone.

The Great I AM

says He is

The Beginning and the End.

Perhaps He was only reaching out to me. Perhaps these are for my own pleasure. Perhaps He was saying ‘I LOVE YOU” when l was tripping last week.

All l know is l feel a lot lighter today. My tshirt feels loose, my jeans keeps dropping and my steps slower. And l am in love with the wind that is blowing at me; telling me to enjoy what He is doing.

lunch time thought.

as I dug into my tasteless but generous portion of fish soup, I thought of my very first boyfriend. His name is Michael and I met him when I was 14 years old. He gave me a Hunting World Tshirt that was larger than me. And this is all I remember. I cannot remember how we met, why we met and why we don’t know each other anymore.

But all this is insignificant anyway.

What matters to me now is why do some people come into our life for brief moments? And why some stay on?

Do you know?

I asked Timmy two days ago if he ever had his heart broken. First he said he didn’t think so and I asked again “did you ever feel like you couldn’t breath and you felt pieces of your heart inside of you?” Then he said maybe when his first girlfriend left him. She was his JC sweetheart. Long distance was the culprit.

And it was also the culprit for my ex and I. So I like to think.

Again it is insignificant.