a miracle!

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that’s me and pathi sharing a delicious lunch at samy’s at Dempsey just after Xmas service!

i would have never imagined inviting pathi to any of my church service as it isn’t held in Tamil and i wasn’t optimistic that she will come as i imagined hearing one of these – not well, too many people, i dont understand bla bla!

but i felt it in my heart to ask and she said okay! So on a wet Xmas morning we made our way to the indoor stadium where the Xmas service was held but only to be asked to go to another venue at Suntec as the stadium was overflowing. Honestly i was disappointed as i wanted very much for pathi to experience the grand-ness of Jesus! It would truly have been an experience like no other for her.

She did however manage to catch that awesomeness on the screen when the camera panned the stadium.

The best part was that the sermon was just about to start as we sat down. Though pathi didn’t understand anything that was said, timmy and i believe that Jesus has a way where man knows no way. We believe that He has touched her heart and her spirit.

If i thought that for pathi to see and experience the service in the stadium would have been grand, i have to say that me standing up with her in prayer in my church must be the highlight of this year.

For all the million times she would have prayed for me in the temples, i felt like i brought her home.

Home where my Jesus is. Home where Jesus will meet her every need. Home where Jesus will put strength in her body. Home where Jesus will put joy in her heart. Home where Jesus will
restore the lost years. Home where Jesus will mend the broken relationships. Home where Jesus will bless her with an alert and sharp mind. Home where Jesus fulfills her every wish. Home where Jesus is.

Truly a miracle.

To say I walked in His goodness this year seems so inadequate.

Jesus, what do I say or do lord? For you have done exceedingly abundantly above all that I can ever think or ask.

Lord, may your precious name reign! Amen!

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ain’t little anymore!

o’levels done. prom done.
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and today was her first day at work!

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and my heart beats just a little faster as I take this in – my little CK ain’t little anymore! what a year it has been! I’m so blessed to be part of her life and so thankful that at 16, she still talks to me and tell me things, holds my hand and listens to my advice. while I can’t wait to see her grow into a lovely lady, I just wouldn’t mind if time slows down just a tiny beat.

😉

role play.

the title was the easiest to come up with. the content is ready because it has been put into motion. the struggle is whether to air it or shrug it. here I am waiting for the bus and getting reminded that this space exists as my diary.

yes a diary is meant to be a personal and private collection of moments till someone comes across it after you have passed along and gets a glimpse of the life you have lived or hoping to live. it will then maybe and hopefully inspire them to live just a little better.

if life and its learnings are not shared while we are alive, I think we missed life and it’s purpose.

the sky has gone from bright to darkness in these few minutes. and I can’t help but feel that it resembles the last few days of my beautiful life.

29 30 1 2 3. These are 5 days of my live that I want to remember. For 5 days, I had a role. A huge role in a beautiful journey that I believed I was on. I rejoiced at the perfect timing. A month to rest and enjoy the blessing. I thought of possible creative ways I would share the news with family and friends. For instance, I thought I will give my mum a pack of pads and tell her I’ll not need it for nine months!

So yes. For 5 days I thought I was pregnant. Every single time my tummy felt the typical period dullness, I prayed and trusted Jesus. A new verse that I found just weeks ago became my strength and hope – Fully satisfied and assured that God was able and mighty to keep His word and to do what He had promised (Romans 4:21 AMP). Because its boring to be the sole actor, I got Timmy to cameo. His excitement however could not measure up to my excitement and anxiousness. I looked, stroked and spoke to my stomach. Everytime I needed the taste of coffee, I battled with guilt. When I walked too fast or moved recklessly, I scolded myself. When I ate for myself, I reminded myself to care for the little one who will be eating what I ate.

But I did all of them anyway because I knew me alone, what I do or didn’t is unimportant. Only what He does matters and I knew my baby is in good hands.

Dramas don’t go on forever. They END. The minute my feet touched the carpeted floor in a Malacca hotel on Sunday morning, I knew the credits were going to roll.

My name flashed on the black screen. 100 pt size, big bold Ariel, RED.

My only audience, Jesus, was still around. He always turns up to watch me. Between me and Him was a huge sea of water. I didn’t know how I could cross that sea to get to Him. He just seemed so far away. And I didn’t have the energy to try. Will He instead come to me?

The last three days He has been comforting me in sermons, devotionals, psalms and proverbs.

My greatest enemy is my thoughts. There were a million thoughts why I wasn’t pregnant, why I didn’t deserve a baby. One thought which was like an annoying pimple was nobody gets pregnant by having sex ONE TIME!

I can’t help it if I feel and believe my god is mighty. It’s not about what we do or how we do or even when we do it. It’s all about Him and what He has already accomplished at Calvary.

He didn’t fail me. I just got too excited and hopeful when my period was late. I ignored all the PMS and chose to believe that I was pregnant. I let my thoughts run wild. A pregnant buddy got me excited and a longing to jump on the bandwagon hit me.

Today the sea between me and Him doesn’t exist.