love is …

everytime i listen to this song, i get all mushy and i remember the first time i spoke to timmy and how i thought “wow this chinese guy can talk a lot!” i still remember our first dinner date at a tiny japanese eatery at an alley of boat quay and a quick drink at a joint at ocbc which has seen closed down. our first date was on 7 june. he asked me out via msn and i agreed thinking nothing will come out of it. i still remember telling my friend thomas about a fellow colleague asking me out and whether i should go for it. office affairs can be tricky from what i gathered from magazines but since we don’t work with one another, a date would be nice i told myself.

a year before my first date with timmy, i was done with a 6-year-old relationship and i wasn’t exactly sure if i was ready for another go. i am so glad i did. i remember timmy’s boss david telling me that he had hired two boys for his team and they could be my potential love interest. thank you david! needless to say, i brought along tons of baggage to the relationship but thank god timmy is so patient and understanding. i will never understand where he gets this level of patience but i’m really hoping that i’ll get to his level and our kid will be like him. i think patience is so important in a relationship especially marriage. otherwise this would not have been recorded in the bible and its anyone guess why it starts with patience:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It does not dishonour others, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

in my humble opinion, remembering these words and trying to follow them is hard. it is easy to be annoyed. it is easier to blame others. it is even more easier to just not trust. to trust, to protect, to hope and to persevere are for losers. those who don’t mind people walking all over them. those who can’t help falling in love and getting their hearts broken time and time again. those who like to give others a chance too many. those who don’t mind putting others before them. hey come on, we are not god afterall. we are humans.

when i read the verses during a friend’s wedding on sat, i told timmy it is so hard and asked why is it even in the bible. i don’t know how anyone can go about fulfilling it. and here i am reflecting and remembering jesus and how he is patient and kind to me regardless of my past, my thoughts, my feelings, my actions and my words. i am thinking of how He ministered to the many people in the bible – the sick, the demon possessed, the adulterer, the faithless, the poor, the complainers, the small, the weak and the list goes on. as far as i know, He reached out to all of them. He opened his arms and heart to them. He didn’t see them the way they were. He saw them in their future. i am completely amazed the way He was with Peter. Remember Peter who confidently told him that he will always be with Jesus and ended up betraying Him three times. Yet through the grace of Jesus, Peter is one of the key testimonial and first gospel preacher in the bible in my opinion. love is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

so i ask myself if i am forgiven much, why can’t i do the same for you. if He is so patient and kind towards me, why can’t i exercise just a bit more patience with you. if He is not keeping a record of my wrongs, why don’t i just look beyond your flaws. if He has promised to keep me, to protect me, to provide for me, to preserve me and to trust me, why can’t i just hope for you. trying to put into practice those verses is difficult; if we do it on our own. but if we do it knowing that we are guided by daddy god, i think we will see happy people. we will see healthy relationships. we will hear laughter. we will walk slower. we will chew our food and taste our kopi and teh si. we will call and meet; not just msn, sms and whatsapp. we will queue. we will not push. we will give up our seats. we will just be nice.

so for you my neighbour, my fellow commuter, my family, my colleagues, my friends, strangers, service staff, for my husband and all you out there, i promise to fulfill those verses through the grace of my god.

even if you don’t care, i will still do it because i’m god’s child and just like any parent-child relationship, i want my daddy god to be proud of me.

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