praising you always …

i’m no musician. i’m no writer. i’m no one but your child. in awe i stand; of your love and kindness. and with these, I praise you and declare you as my god.

“crowned with your righteousness,
clothed with your love and grace,
standing on your truth,
glory and joy lays ahead.”

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BFF.

i love this product. and i am only sharing here because it is good and it works. here are pictures of my toilet before getting washed. the last time they were washed was a month ago!

and these are after washing. the floor looks pinkish which is due to the lighting.

if you are not convinced, look inside the bowl.

if you use it and don’t like it, i will buy it off you. if you have something that you feel works better, let me know. i have tried the usual brands and this truly is heaven-sent. just need to make sure that the toilet ventilation fan is switched on if you do have it or just leave your doors/windows open. i also wear the gloves but timmy doesn’t.

victory.

Exodus 17:8 – 13:

Now Amalek came and fought with Isreal in Rephidim. And Moses said to Joshua, “Choose us some men and go out fight, fight with Amalek. Tomorrow l will stand on the top of the hill with the rod of god in my hand.” So Joshua did as Moses said to him, and fought with Amalek. And Moses, Aaron and Hur went up to the top of the hill. And so it was, when Moses held up his hand, that Isreal prevailed; and when he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses hand became heavy; so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it. And Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. So Joshua defeated Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword.

i read this portion before.read and read again and didn’t quite know how to interpret it especially the part on Moses hand becoming tired and Aaron and Hur helping to support. i thought it was a bit funny but i knew that nothing frivolous is recorded in the bible and it must mean something important for it resulted in victory. yesterday, i found out what it means. well at least pastor lian’s own revelation. while she did share what others who study the theology think it means,she thinks lifting of the hands is a picture of Jesus and what He did on the hill for us all. she shared that if we lift up jesus in all our situations and challenges and focus on His finished work instead of what is happening to us, we will experience victory and success. just like how Moses (the spirit man) focused on Jesus while Joshua (outer man or the flesh) went out to fight. the more Moses focused on Jesus, the more Joshua won so lets look away from our situations and look at Jesus. lift Him up in all situations, in all aspects of our life. allow our spirit man to feed on Jesus; day and night. if we get weary and tired, turn to our brothers and sisters in christ and stand together in faith; just like how Hur and Aaron helped Moses in lifting of his hands.

this brings to my mind this phrase – for where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am i in the midst of them. amazing eh? god thought of everything for us. He knew how we will think and how we will react. if only we stopped to think about what He has done for us.

yesterday was amazing. our intention was to attend service at gallery west, not at the main auditorium so that we don’t need to queue. but because we had gotten there earlier as we wanted to visit the career fair, we had ample time left over to walk from convention centre to the auditorium. we got there in time, seats were still available and the usher directed us to two seats that were located one row away from the main stage. my hair stood. never have i or even timmy ever been so close to the stage on a sunday. we wouldn’t even dream about it because of the attendance numbers at the auditorium and how many queue hours before each service. timmy and i just smiled at one another and i wished i had dressed for it. but how would i ever know this would happen. 

and i think i heard a voice in me say that all i need or want is just a need or a want but daddy god is greater and much more. He exceeds our expectations and blesses us greatly. all we wanted was to attend service but we got 1st class seat. this is my daddy god and in Him, i trust. and i will continue to lift up Jesus in all my situations. in my eczema, in my health, in my career, in my sister’s education, in my parents’ financial situation, in my marriage, in my future, in my life and lives of those i love and care about deeply.

i always tell myself this and i find great strength when i speak forth these words – Jesus didnt die in vain for me.

God is good. dont let anyone or anything tell you otherwise. if you are here, He wanted you here. and if He wanted you here, an abundant life is what He wants for you to have. nothing less. remember that someone precious died for you so that you can have a good life. no one will ever do that for you.

love is …

everytime i listen to this song, i get all mushy and i remember the first time i spoke to timmy and how i thought “wow this chinese guy can talk a lot!” i still remember our first dinner date at a tiny japanese eatery at an alley of boat quay and a quick drink at a joint at ocbc which has seen closed down. our first date was on 7 june. he asked me out via msn and i agreed thinking nothing will come out of it. i still remember telling my friend thomas about a fellow colleague asking me out and whether i should go for it. office affairs can be tricky from what i gathered from magazines but since we don’t work with one another, a date would be nice i told myself.

a year before my first date with timmy, i was done with a 6-year-old relationship and i wasn’t exactly sure if i was ready for another go. i am so glad i did. i remember timmy’s boss david telling me that he had hired two boys for his team and they could be my potential love interest. thank you david! needless to say, i brought along tons of baggage to the relationship but thank god timmy is so patient and understanding. i will never understand where he gets this level of patience but i’m really hoping that i’ll get to his level and our kid will be like him. i think patience is so important in a relationship especially marriage. otherwise this would not have been recorded in the bible and its anyone guess why it starts with patience:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It does not dishonour others, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

in my humble opinion, remembering these words and trying to follow them is hard. it is easy to be annoyed. it is easier to blame others. it is even more easier to just not trust. to trust, to protect, to hope and to persevere are for losers. those who don’t mind people walking all over them. those who can’t help falling in love and getting their hearts broken time and time again. those who like to give others a chance too many. those who don’t mind putting others before them. hey come on, we are not god afterall. we are humans.

when i read the verses during a friend’s wedding on sat, i told timmy it is so hard and asked why is it even in the bible. i don’t know how anyone can go about fulfilling it. and here i am reflecting and remembering jesus and how he is patient and kind to me regardless of my past, my thoughts, my feelings, my actions and my words. i am thinking of how He ministered to the many people in the bible – the sick, the demon possessed, the adulterer, the faithless, the poor, the complainers, the small, the weak and the list goes on. as far as i know, He reached out to all of them. He opened his arms and heart to them. He didn’t see them the way they were. He saw them in their future. i am completely amazed the way He was with Peter. Remember Peter who confidently told him that he will always be with Jesus and ended up betraying Him three times. Yet through the grace of Jesus, Peter is one of the key testimonial and first gospel preacher in the bible in my opinion. love is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

so i ask myself if i am forgiven much, why can’t i do the same for you. if He is so patient and kind towards me, why can’t i exercise just a bit more patience with you. if He is not keeping a record of my wrongs, why don’t i just look beyond your flaws. if He has promised to keep me, to protect me, to provide for me, to preserve me and to trust me, why can’t i just hope for you. trying to put into practice those verses is difficult; if we do it on our own. but if we do it knowing that we are guided by daddy god, i think we will see happy people. we will see healthy relationships. we will hear laughter. we will walk slower. we will chew our food and taste our kopi and teh si. we will call and meet; not just msn, sms and whatsapp. we will queue. we will not push. we will give up our seats. we will just be nice.

so for you my neighbour, my fellow commuter, my family, my colleagues, my friends, strangers, service staff, for my husband and all you out there, i promise to fulfill those verses through the grace of my god.

even if you don’t care, i will still do it because i’m god’s child and just like any parent-child relationship, i want my daddy god to be proud of me.