new pod of gold.

He works in ways that we will never completely understand. there is really no coincidence when it comes to a life of a believer. everything good is truly made real by daddy god and everything bad he turns it into good for us. he is a good god. he is our heavenly daddy.

i was looking at an email from jobcentral earlier and saw an opening at trinity centre. i googled, spent some time looking at the site, came to a page on sermons where i found many messages and finally listened to a message on being confident of god’s plan for us. while i didn’t apply for the job, i found another pod of gold. three cheers for internet!

though this is my first time listening to a message preached by the pastor and from this church, i wasn’t worried because i knew i can always turn it off. i have been feeding on jesus and his immense love and grace for us and how great our daddy god is for the last two years AND i do not want to listen to anything that will tell me otherwise. right now, i am really hoping that the sermons preached from the pulpit of my church gets on the website so that people can listen to it from where they are. right now, only CDs are available. snippets of some sermons can be watched on youtube but more can be done and should be done. as the child of god, i speak forth in jesus generous name that our sermons get online for free so that the powerful and life/hope/strength giving words of god can spread like wildfire and may the entire earth be on fire!

the essence of the message ‘Being confident of god’s plan for us’ meshed with my reflections:

– god who is our heavenly father made us. He wanted us to be born. He created us in the belly of our mothers. if we are here today, it is because He made us. we are not an accident or a mistake. if we are parent-less, He is our parent; our dad and mum. when our parents think lowly of us, He thinks everything of us. a mother may forget or don’t want to feed her baby but daddy god will not. He who is the possessor of heaven and earth will not forget to feed us. and if He willingly gave up His son for us, why would He withhold from us all the other things.

– our parents are gifts from god. all that we are, were hand-picked by god, and put in us. we may not see the fullness of the goodness of our parents because of the circumstances they were and/or are in. the potential daddy god saw in them may not have come to pass in their lives but this doesn’t mean that we can disrespect and dishonour our parents. this doesn’t mean that our parents were not made in the image of god. we all are made in the image of god. do not start hating your parents just because they are uneducated or poor or angry or selfish people. because before you know it, you may start hating yourself when you start seeing them in you. honour your parents because when you honour your parents, you honour your heavenly parent.

– god has a purpose for each one of us. He has a plan for each one of us. your plan is different to mine. but they are all plans from god. to be able to fulfill the plan and the purpose, He has put in us many gifts so so that the fullness of his goodness comes to bear fruit in our lives. my gifts are different from yours. but they are gifts from daddy god nonetheless. i may not know how to cook but i sure know how to eat. i may have not studied writing or ever get a chance to write for a living but that doesn’t mean i can’t write. so allow daddy god to share with us His purpose and plan for our life and let Him change us as He deem fit so that we can live the good life He had in mind for us, right from the beginning.

search your heart. think about it. talk about it. think about it. search your heart. think about it. talk about it.

turbulence.

  

when i saw this picture in today’s paper, i was sad. a trip to the pantry to put away my coffee mug turned into moments of guilt and sadness. within minutes, their entire lives have changed forever. what possibly could have been a mundane monday turned into a worst day of their life. their mum is gone forever without a goodbye. what was a ‘see you later’ has turned into a goodbye. besides dealing with the immense grief of losing their mum at such young age, they face the possibility of not being able to see her body and touch her one last time. i will never know how they will move on and how they will go about living their lives without their mum at their side. i can pretty much guess they will be forced to grow up almost immediately and learn how to be an adult while being a child. i can imagine how painful and miserable it will be for them.. at least for a while.. for a long while. i imagine it to be like losing a part of your body; like a leg or your sight or control of your body and then forced to learn to live life again without that organ or function. something tells me it is not the right comparison. same same but different.

in moments like this, i think about how blessed my life is and how i still have my pathi and my parents and almost all of my family members. everyone whom i know since the day i was born are around except for my paternal granddad and maternal grandma. and i have new family members now – my husband and his family. and as time goes, the family will grow and grow and you have more to worry and rejoice about. without fail, every year when i accept i am a year older, i also know that these folks of mine are a year older and my heart skips a beat. because at the back of my head, i know we are all a day closer to goodbye. it frustrates me sometimes and saddens me other times knowing that no one really appreciates or cares about life. we all just live life. we take each other for granted. we get mad. we use words that should not be in the human vocabulary. we bully. we fight. we argue. we gossip. we lie. we cheat. we compete. we kill. and we dont realise the impact of what we say and do until we come face to face with consequences and realise – OH SHIT. we just dont get it. only a few gets it. and a handful really really gets it. and not many actually do want to get it.

and i am one of those who wants to get it badly and seem to be on the path of getting it and think i am getting it and then realise OH SHIT. while i am darn good at recovering, i know the damage is done and it will be a memory forever for both of us. overtime, it will fade off until we dont have the memory space to file it anymore because other things have happened in bigger and more important scales.

so today, i am asking myself what do i need to do to really get it. to really live life. to stop being mean. to stop letting my emotions and thoughts control me. to be in control. to understand how precious life is, not just mine but also those around me. to live life with a purpose. to be committed to my purpose. to live each day to my best so that if tomorrow the building crashes on me, i know i have lived my life well. timmy and i once joked that because we live on 16th floor which is the highest floor in our flat, we will get to heaven first. sick couple we are.

on all our flights to and fro new york last month, which was 4 flights, there were periods of turbulence. in those shaky moments, i gripped timmy’s hands like never before and i used my feet to push against the seat in front to ‘balance’ myself. i also quickly switched on my iphone to listen to praise songs and sermons. all these helped to calm me down and before i knew it, the seat belt sign goes off. i remember telling myself on those flights that in life, we will experience pockets of turbulence but we need to know we will and we can ride out those bad weather. without those bad weather moments, we will never know how precious life is. how simple life should be. how we are meant to live with one another and not alone. how sweet music is. how powerful words are. how joy and peace feels. how great is our god.

i may be gone tomorrow. but what i do today is important. not just what i do for myself but also for others. i have to stop getting annoyed with my fellow train commuters who simply push their way in AND tell myself that i should be grateful that my country has good affordable efficient transportation system, that i have work to go to and i can depend on myself to get to work and not have someone push my wheelchair. tomorrow doesnt matter. it is today that is here and matters.

personally i dont like comparing myself to anyone to feel better. but sometimes it may take a moment like this to wake yourself up to see truly how green your pasture is. just dont make it a habit i think.

i pray and hope that the rescue teams find more alive than dead. that more help gets to christchurch now. that the families of the victims find the strength they need to move on. and that the teenagers were right in that their mum was on lunch break when the building crashed. and that more us truly gets it and more of us actually want to get it.

i remember christchurch being beautiful and quiet and clean and spacious. this is such an awful and sickening turbulence that they are experiencing and they will and must and can ride out this bad weather.

He who promised is faithful.

oregano’s.

friday night was my second time dining at this joint tucked away at a corner of arab street. since my first visit in dec, i have been wanting to introduce timmy to the place as i knew he will appreciate and enjoy the tasty food and its reasonable price. after all, it is only 5 mins bus away from where we live. so after timmy had his weekly dose of foot massage, we walked from fu lou shou to oregano’s. my tiny brains cannot remember its address but is it just next to fika.

from what i gathered, they used to be in the east but have made arab street their home now. and you must visit this place for a meal or two. the portions are big and GENEROUS, the food is tasty and fresh and inexpensive. the place was quiet when we were there; it was almost like we were at home dining but with food that is a thousand times better than what timmy and i could have ever prepare in our lifetime.

so i say, blue jazz can wait while you pay oregano’s a visit and taste for yourself the goodness of this place.

these were our goodness on friday night:

one appetizer, two mains, one coffee, one oreo smoothie, glasses of water plus taxes came up to about $50.

twenty four seven.

i used to wonder how i could ever be still and read the bible or any form of book on god’s love and grace. i didn’t know if i am capable of spending one hour completely focused on HIS word and HIS presence. but having done that now, i can safely say it is completely effortless and time literally flies in HIS presence. in fact, most of the time, it is not even an hour that i spend with HIM, its little pockets of time throughout the day that i spend in awe of HIM soaking in HIS love. it has come to a point where it is completely natural. HE is a friend whom i talk to everyday all the time now. and i am so thrilled. timmy said this to me last week – you have gone from who is jesus to jesus this jesus that all the time. and this warms my heart all the way to centre of my soul.
i started reading the bible early 2009. i started from the new testament at the encouragement of timmy who felt that the old testament could be dry and perhaps a bit scary. so he got me a lady’s bible that has only the new testament. it took me awhile to get through each gospel but i am very proud to say that i have read the 4 gospels and ACTS. but surprisingly before i started romans which is after ACTS, i felt like i needed to read the old testament. i felt like i needed to know what happened before Jesus came. afterall one of my 3 wishes this year was to know my daddy god a lot more and to have an intimate relationship with HIM. i decided i should start from the beginning. i should start from genesis. afterall everything in the bible is there for a reason and they are there in a specific order for a reason. as a believer, one small thing i could do is to respect the bible, its contents and order. someone once said to me in a very care-less manner that she read the entire bible from front to back and back to front, like a storybook. i didn’t know much then to say anything. but i realise now that we all have own way of reading and understanding the bible but only one type of person walks away completely in love with god after reading HIS words. this person reads with his or heart and let the words sink right into his or her very being. these words are not just words but powerful words that bring a lot of love, hope and strength. and yes this is a storybook that reveals the greatest love of all times. the love of god.
honestly, i was worried when i decided to read the old testament because i didn’t know how i will go about doing it and will i understand what i read. but my fears were unnecessary for i have the holy spirit in me to guide and teach me. and my pastor always refers to both the old and new testaments for his messages and explains them clearly. most importantly, i am reading with a genuine heart that is seeking god and i am reading with a full revelation of who jesus is for me. well the bible does says that for everyone who asks receives and he who seeks find and he who knocks, it will be opened 🙂
the element that really got me all geared up is a book written by my pastor. it is called 100 days of favour. as the name says, it has 100 days of readings, prayers and reflections. pastor encourages us to read it everyday for 100 days and to soak ourselves in the love of our daddy god and find out how it manifests in our lives. amazing book!! while i don’t read it everyday or go according to sequence, everytime i read it, i am completely drenched in god’s love. while i am an organised person, i leave it to my holy spirit to guide me what i could be reading each day. sometimes it is this book followed by bible reading. sometimes, it is listening to a sermon and doing my own reflection. other times, it could just be watching online sermons and bible reading. many times, it is just singing praise and worship songs. there is no winning formula or timetable. only me and god.
and god is awesome and he is real. for those of you who read my post ‘november and december 2010’ would know how those 2 months were for me. and so did my daddy god. and it took HIM only 2 weeks to restore me. i don’t even know why i see it this way because everyday in those two months were completely awesome and very important and dear to me but this is how i see it. i started reading the 100 days of favour book in dec and on the 14th day that i read it which was 27 jan, i had a call from my current employer who had found out from an ex-colleague that i was looking for freelance assignments. my ex-colleague has always been on my msn list but i never thought of informing her of my freelance status. but that day, for some reason, i msn-ed her to ask if her agency was looking for freelance help. the next thing i knew was her ex-employer calling me to ask if i was keen to help them. she said it was right timing but i know its god’s doing. don’t you?
so i am gainfully employed on a three months assignment which will end in april. thereafter, i don’t know where i will be headed to but it doesn’t matter. i am not care-less with my work life. i am trusting my daddy god and believing that HE is guiding me. the bible says in exodus 13:21
isn’t it amazing how gracious and loving daddy god is. HE is our 24 hours, full day and night protection and guidance. HE watches over us day and night. i know it is difficult to fully understand what this means to us and for us especially when we are swarmed in our daily life. but what comes to my mind is a mum and her newborn. imagine the intimate relationship between a mum and her baby and how she cares for him 24/7; day and night; rain or sun. the baby is her priority and is one person she cares about for the rest of her life. the minute the baby cries, she rushes to him to comfort him. feeds him every two to three hours. makes sure he is clean and comfortable. the baby is her pride and joy. she proudly shows him off to her family and friends. she watches his first flip, crawl, walk and hears his first words. everything he does is simply magical to her. amazing and pure love. and this is only the human type of love. take this a thousand or perhaps a million notch up and you get an idea of our heavenly father’s love. HE is with us day and night watching over us, protecting and providing for us. amen and amen!
honestly i don’t know who reads what i write and whether if anyone reads what i write. but if you are reading, i just wanted to say that whatever situation you are in now or ever find yourself in, just close your eyes and imagine god is in front of you and you are taking all that is on your shoulder and placing it on HIS hands and tell HIM that you don’t know what to do and that you are relying on HIM to guide you and believe that HE will guide you. if its your first time or if you just don’t believe in god or if you simply hate god and want to do this, you may need to do it a couple of times or find some quiet place like the toilet to do it. this is not because god needs to hear it many times but because you need to know in your heart what you are doing and the situation you are in needs to know that the mighty god is in control now. oh man i am thrilled to know what happens! i am no expert in how to pray or anything of that sort. this is just what i do and i hope it helps you.
god bless! amen!

price less.

since it was unusually quiet yesterday, i decided i will just step in for a min and look-see what they had to offer. it is jewellery galore and at prices that all of us can afford (truly price less), you should look-see especially if you are into old school or should i say vintage jewellery. edward who took over this business from his dad is nice and approachable and he can repair your jewellery too. i got myself this chunky bracelet at $12.90 and am hoping it will up my cool factor.

you can find edmund and his wife ann at #03-1072 people’s park. and no, saying that you heard about them from me doesn’t get you any discount. i haven’t got to that level yet. have fun nevertheless and tell me what you got.

my lamb.

no thanks to the fact that i refer to JESUS as my lamb way too much on facebook without realizing that many are unaware that HE is our sacrificial lamb on that cross and so the intended message gets misinterpreted and it is hilarious to an extent because it often gets concluded that it has something to do with me and a baby.

while i’m so okay with everyone asking if i am pregnant and/or when i am going to get pregnant; i think it is nice for me to share the baby making plan of mine and timmy’s. yes this is just a humble desire of ours that we have left in the safe and mighty hands of our lovely JESUS whom we believe has the best and the mightiest plan.

the initial plan was to make our baby after our holiday which kept getting postponed and we only made the trip last month (it was an awesome trip!)! so we realized that since the dragon year (2012) is just a few months away, it is perfect for us to have a dragon baby since timmy is one himself. as you should be able to tell, we are not superstitious or anything of that sort; one thing led to another and before we knew it, there is this opportunity and we are grabbing it!so praise god that i will only be pregnant after june 2011. if you think i look pregnant before that, it means i have been fed very well by timmy! Amen.

the baby bonus is up for review and i cant help feeling that my baby is already blessed! Amen! i don’t know in details all the existing bonuses but these are on my wish list which i have bravely placed in the hands of my heavenly father! If you are cool with my list, say Amen because when two or more agree on earth, it shall be done!

– one month paternity leave

– $5000 cash for the first-born which can be withdrawn at any time

– $1500 cash for the mum

– free medical services right from preconception to the first year birthday of the child

– relevant brands such as diapers and milk to come together and provide vouchers that has one year validity

hey, dont mock my list now! when it comes to pass, you know WHO to thank! if having a baby is not on your agenda now, come join me! it will be fun i think! just in the last three months, i have congratulated at least 5 friends who either just had their kid or pregnant. i cant wait to smell my baby! i cant believe that i have gotten here. i’m only 50% ready but this is all i need. for all that i lack, my jesus has them all! Amen 🙂

yes i am also crazy about jesus and that affects people because i cant help but want to share HIS love. strange part is; some get affected just by knowing that i am sharing it with someone else. and it’s not even them i am sharing with. i mean if your heart is dead to the love of my jesus, it is not difficult to shut your ears too coz that is a lot easier than shutting your heart.

think about this; you come across the most delicious lamb chop in singapore and what do you do? tell everyone about it perhaps? when you have such wonderful friends or a fantastic holiday or even a bad day, what do you do? you tell someone. you post a picture. you put it on your facebook status. if you could do all that for a friend, for yourself, WHY CANT I TELL EVERYONE ABOUT MY JESUS? because HE is the real friend and the real food and everyday will be like a holiday when you have HIS love!

of course i know my boundaries and how it feels to be on the receiving side of this news. i was there not too long ago. and if my daddy god doesn’t force, why should i? but i can pray and hope and believe that one day you too will open your heart, just like how i did.