remembering …..

this was taken at my first birthday!the man in the picture is my tata which means grandpa in Tamil.this Sunday,12 dec,marks his 20th death anniversary.he passed away just days before my 11th birthday.if i close my eyes,i can remember his face and the way he walks.unfortunately,i cant remember his voice.there are a number of memories of him but not enough.i’m trying to remember but it’s not coming to me.but i remember he loved the telephone directory for he used that to pick winning 4D numbers,tea and peanuts.he used to sew his children’s clothes and some of mine.in his last years from what i gather and remember,he became pretty difficult to look after but my grandma did.she was his third wife and the only one who outlived him.

i remember i was in malaysia at an uncle’s place for the school holidays when the phone rang in the afternoon to let us know that he has passed on peacefully.he breathed his last at home with his wife by his side.just the two of them in his last hour.how sweet.how precious.

i remember crying and being very afraid to touch him when i returned home late that night.i remember everyone crying including my dad.death ain’t easy.at that young age,i learnt that death is horrible and gross and hated it.the smell.the tears.the pain.everything about it.

but I’m so blessed to have known him and my grandmother.I’m their favorite grandchild which I say no award or medal can beat.its an honour.a privilege.a something that i will remember for the rest of my life.

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