my superman.

two years ago when he went away to KL for a quick get away from work, he came back with a very humble present most of you may think.but it took my breath away and i knew in my heart that he is a stayer.and that he will not quit on me.

a diary with my least favourite colour for cover (green) was my present from his holiday. in it,he wrote his feelings,thoughts and a promise for us.for our future.three pages long.this is,one of the two times,he has written to me excluding sms and conversations.and so precious this is.i carried this diary in my work bag for a very very long time before i stopped and put it away in a safe spot last year when we moved into our place.

on friday for some reason i came across it and once again,i choked with emotions.and i realised how true he had stayed to his words.from the day we met till now,he has truly been a shadow away,never imposing but always encouraging.never failing to tell me how good i am when i fail miserably and how much i mean to him when i am nasty.awesome is this man.my superman.and i know he will always be here for me.

and i thank JESUS for my superman 🙂

a little cheer.

i saw the same two BB boys at 11am after church service and at 5pm after serving in the children’s ministry.at their age,they may very well want to be somewhere else than to be stuck at a little corner of suntec city.perhaps they had to be there coz of their CCA.doesnt matter because they looked happy and even answered my questions.and in their own tiny way,the two boys are bringing a little cheer to the less fortunate.

right now,you are not stuck in a little corner at suntec city.and it takes you less than five mins to do something nice right from of the comfort of your home or office or even starbucks.and trust me,its super easy and i know you can afford it.your many Xmas dinner parties,the many presents that are stacked nicely at your Xmas tree,your holidays all cost way more than the hampers that NTUC has put together based on the needs of the less fortunate.

so log on to http://www.fairprice.com.sg and click on the Boys Brigade share a gift banner and bring a little cheer.

do it now please.

commitment.

most of us know what commitment is and means though there are some i reckon may not know how to spell it.not a easy one to spell i would say.just like embarrassed or conscience or even mathematics.

as i watched this video,i thought about how easily and quickly some of us give up.on our studies,work,relationship,marriage,health and even life.my little sister wants a dog and i wonder if she will be committed to it for the rest of its life.i want to do meaningful work and i wonder if i will be committed to my wish or will it run low just like the bank balance.

i just finished the book “a thousand splendid suns”.set in afghanistan,the story is about love,hope,faith and commitment amidst war,terror and fear.if you liked the kite runner,you should get your hands on this splendid read.i hope it is made into a movie.

Gary Vaynerchuk who?

i have no idea who this guy is. found him on ted.com by chance. well almost.his topic caught my attention and i clicked on him wanting to know what he had to say.he is hilarious and cocky and i am afraid charming to an extent.he is the kind of mate you would have sat next to in the lecture and wished he will stop going on about the guy in front and what a lousy job he is doing at lecturing.he is the type who is not afraid to dream and his dreams aint small.challenges and changes gets his hormones bubbling.being different and perhaps even breaking rules may have started at an early age.i enjoyed watching him and even laughed and cheered at a few instances.i liked his presentation.his energy.his zest.his spirit.even when he had to use the f word to make a point,i liked it.timmy could not help but peep at my screen.watch it.should spruce up your monday.

i have mentally made a list of how i would like my son to be.his character.his values.what he should be.what he should not be.i made it on a train ride one day,not too long ago.i am not talking about specifics like he must go university and be a doctor or represent singapore in the olympics or even be the best in class.it is more about the person i hope he will be.the person who will always bring a smile to my face.the person who timmy will proudly say of “this is my beloved son.in whom i am well pleased.”

timmy doesn’t know this mental list of mine.while we have talked about a number of things regarding kids,we never got to this.perhaps it is not time yet.we are pretty far away.

this is my humble list for my dear zachary.

yo yo zach,

i thought about you.many times.even before daddy and i could officially make you.i suspect even before daddy came into my life.there is no reason why i should not coz i knew one day,i will see you.recently,on a train ride,i thought about you.you are not exactly made yet but that doesn’t stop me dreaming,does it?i thought about what kind of boy you will be.i thought about what kind of boy i would like you to be.with every word and image that formed in the tiny little brain of mine,i can only say i cant wait to meet you babe.please never think i am forcing these upon you.i pray that i will never be a forceful parent.these are nothing but just my humble hope.really hoping you see yourself in most of these!ha!

  • eyes like daddy’s.small but very kind.
  • spirit like jesus’s.full of grace,love and generosity.
  • full of strength to carry me.
  • a heart that is after god.
  • a voice that protects and soothes.
  • a curious and adventurous mind.
  • a desire to heal those around you.
  • a thirst for learning.
  • firm but not pushy.
  • confident but not cocky.
  • gentle but not soft.
  • handsome but not heart breaking.
  • mischievous but not naughty.

not that tough is it?one day,we will have starbucks and you can tell me what you think of my list.

love mummy.

happyness is …

when god is with you.

timmy and I attended a sharing session at church on tuesday.pastor lian who is in charge of the children ministry,which timmy and l are part of,wanted to share the ministry’s vision,purpose and how each of us regardless of our role within the ministry is important and what we do and how we do it plays a part in reflecting the glory and love of our Jesus.all that was shared is easy.be polite,warm,responsible,focus,ownership etc.amongst all that was said and showed,what strike me was when she said we need to remember why we chose to serve the lord in this particular ministry and to own this ministry.each one of us owns a part of this ministry that has 2600 children and their parents.Jesus chose us to look after and to minister to this special group of his beloved children.i am sure most of us present yesterday must have felt the impact when that was said.the importance of what we do.the privilege of being able to contribute.the pat on our back.the smile on HIS face.in simple words,we have in our hands the chance to make a difference.to do something with nothing but with only our heart.just like my Jesus.

everywhere HE went,HE helped,healed and ministered.HE didn’t see age,colour, background.All HE saw was HIS beloved children who needed HIM and their faith in HIM.n HE served them with nothing but his heart.

simple and sweet.this is HIM.and i fell in love with HIM and am hooked for life.i still can’t believe i am in church.it all happened too quickly but with perfect timing.i started accompanying timmy to church in 2007.i still remember the dress i wore and what i felt.nervous scared and worried that they may brainwash me into something.like a cult.of course none of this happened.i already had a picture in my head,thanks to timmy’s sharing during our sunday nights bedtime conversations.i expected like a motivational inspiring friendly session.like how to have a relationship with god.nothing religious.and thats how it turned out to be and has remained so.

i remember 2008 december 21.we were staying at fullerton for my birthday and church was celebrating christmas at indoor stadium.timmy insisted that we attend though all i wanted to do was drown in the luxurious view from the balcony of room 777.the celebration was grand and magical.loads of music,performances and pastor sharing the word.in the midst of everything,i remember tearing.why i don’t know.i felt loved.i felt protected.i felt everything will be fine.i felt peace.i felt all that i want and need will be looked after.i felt fresh.like i just woke up from deep sleep.like i was born again.

the next day,timmy proposed.and i also got hired at a new place after looking for a job for about a month.

2009 was a year.a year that i will never forget.started a new job,bought a home,got married,became a daughter-in-law.a very challenging year for both of us.while there were challenging times,2009 was truly a gift from HIM.HIS strength and grace and favours saw us through.many a times,we find ourselves speechless when we reflect upon 2009.and i did something very important.i dare say far more important than getting married.i accepted JESUS.i committed all of myself to HIS safe and mighty hands and declared HIM as my lord and saviour.

i don’t know how i did it.never thought i will do it.i didnt do it for timmy.i didn’t do it so that his mum will accept me and she still doesn’t know to date.i didn’t do it for anyone.i didn’t do it just so that i can go to heaven.i did it because i fell in love with JESUS.and when u know HIM the way we all have come to HIM in our church,you can’t help it.the feeling is so intense,so right.the peace and joy that envelopes you when you raise your hands in worship.its magical and you never want it to end.you just want to linger in HIS presence.always.

for a while,i was confused.i didn’t know how i could be indian and not hindu.why i could not believe in both?wouldn’t believing in both give me double blessings?many times,i shrugged off the confusion,telling myself that god is real and he will figure it out.and he did.i still go to the temple with my granny.once a month.this was something we started many moons and suns ago and though at times,i struggle and feel like a hypocrite,i tell myself that HE knows what i am doing and that HE understands.

during the sharing session,pastor shared a word that had me tearing.she told us to go into the deepest and darkest part of the ocean.to venture out.because at the darkest and deepest is where all the fish are.nets full of fish that can feed us and everyone else.and perhaps some to throw back into the ocean.i have started my job hunt.and half of those that i have applied to,i am not qualified.i dont have the qualifications or the experiences.but i still applied telling myself HE qualifies me.i worry that i will not be successful and i will be back to square one.i worry 2 years later,i am still doing the same thing.i worry and i get restless and upset.but HIS word of encouragement came loud and crystal clear on tuesday.all i need to do is venture out into the deepest and darkest part of the ocean where truck loads of fish are waiting for me.HIS light is guiding me.

I M POSSIBLE, he says.no reason for me to doubt.