when god is with you.
timmy and I attended a sharing session at church on tuesday.pastor lian who is in charge of the children ministry,which timmy and l are part of,wanted to share the ministry’s vision,purpose and how each of us regardless of our role within the ministry is important and what we do and how we do it plays a part in reflecting the glory and love of our Jesus.all that was shared is easy.be polite,warm,responsible,focus,ownership etc.amongst all that was said and showed,what strike me was when she said we need to remember why we chose to serve the lord in this particular ministry and to own this ministry.each one of us owns a part of this ministry that has 2600 children and their parents.Jesus chose us to look after and to minister to this special group of his beloved children.i am sure most of us present yesterday must have felt the impact when that was said.the importance of what we do.the privilege of being able to contribute.the pat on our back.the smile on HIS face.in simple words,we have in our hands the chance to make a difference.to do something with nothing but with only our heart.just like my Jesus.
everywhere HE went,HE helped,healed and ministered.HE didn’t see age,colour, background.All HE saw was HIS beloved children who needed HIM and their faith in HIM.n HE served them with nothing but his heart.
simple and sweet.this is HIM.and i fell in love with HIM and am hooked for life.i still can’t believe i am in church.it all happened too quickly but with perfect timing.i started accompanying timmy to church in 2007.i still remember the dress i wore and what i felt.nervous scared and worried that they may brainwash me into something.like a cult.of course none of this happened.i already had a picture in my head,thanks to timmy’s sharing during our sunday nights bedtime conversations.i expected like a motivational inspiring friendly session.like how to have a relationship with god.nothing religious.and thats how it turned out to be and has remained so.
i remember 2008 december 21.we were staying at fullerton for my birthday and church was celebrating christmas at indoor stadium.timmy insisted that we attend though all i wanted to do was drown in the luxurious view from the balcony of room 777.the celebration was grand and magical.loads of music,performances and pastor sharing the word.in the midst of everything,i remember tearing.why i don’t know.i felt loved.i felt protected.i felt everything will be fine.i felt peace.i felt all that i want and need will be looked after.i felt fresh.like i just woke up from deep sleep.like i was born again.
the next day,timmy proposed.and i also got hired at a new place after looking for a job for about a month.
2009 was a year.a year that i will never forget.started a new job,bought a home,got married,became a daughter-in-law.a very challenging year for both of us.while there were challenging times,2009 was truly a gift from HIM.HIS strength and grace and favours saw us through.many a times,we find ourselves speechless when we reflect upon 2009.and i did something very important.i dare say far more important than getting married.i accepted JESUS.i committed all of myself to HIS safe and mighty hands and declared HIM as my lord and saviour.
i don’t know how i did it.never thought i will do it.i didnt do it for timmy.i didn’t do it so that his mum will accept me and she still doesn’t know to date.i didn’t do it for anyone.i didn’t do it just so that i can go to heaven.i did it because i fell in love with JESUS.and when u know HIM the way we all have come to HIM in our church,you can’t help it.the feeling is so intense,so right.the peace and joy that envelopes you when you raise your hands in worship.its magical and you never want it to end.you just want to linger in HIS presence.always.
for a while,i was confused.i didn’t know how i could be indian and not hindu.why i could not believe in both?wouldn’t believing in both give me double blessings?many times,i shrugged off the confusion,telling myself that god is real and he will figure it out.and he did.i still go to the temple with my granny.once a month.this was something we started many moons and suns ago and though at times,i struggle and feel like a hypocrite,i tell myself that HE knows what i am doing and that HE understands.
during the sharing session,pastor shared a word that had me tearing.she told us to go into the deepest and darkest part of the ocean.to venture out.because at the darkest and deepest is where all the fish are.nets full of fish that can feed us and everyone else.and perhaps some to throw back into the ocean.i have started my job hunt.and half of those that i have applied to,i am not qualified.i dont have the qualifications or the experiences.but i still applied telling myself HE qualifies me.i worry that i will not be successful and i will be back to square one.i worry 2 years later,i am still doing the same thing.i worry and i get restless and upset.but HIS word of encouragement came loud and crystal clear on tuesday.all i need to do is venture out into the deepest and darkest part of the ocean where truck loads of fish are waiting for me.HIS light is guiding me.
I M POSSIBLE, he says.no reason for me to doubt.