can’t be grateful enough.

today i spent five precious hours serving my lord. i went to my church office bright and early after sending timmy off to korea.i was meant to do some data entry but as the information wasn’t ready,i was asked to sort out birthday cards for children born in october.there was over 300 cards and almost every day in oct saw at least 5 children’s birthdays.there were 3 sets of twins,many johns and josiahs and even zachary!there were also 2 girls with malay names and hmmm i wondered.and they live all over singapore from woodlands to pasir ris and their parents made one of the bestest decision to send them to the bestest children ministry in the world – Rock Kids at New Creation Church.a place where they will learn all about HIS goodness and receive HIS abundant love and grace.Amen!

the card is a bright happy yellow and i am sure they will be enveloped by god’s love when they open the envelope!i will be!may HE be real in their lives,guiding their steps always and protecting them from the i sorted each card,i heard myself praying over each name and with each name,i felt my spirits lifted and a sense of peace settling on me.the whole experience was a lot more precious and nourishing to me than i thought.

i could not be grateful enough for this chance.

for some weird reason,i shared with someone awhile ago about my intention to help out in my church in between my freelance assignments and what he said made me feel bad.i don’t even know why i told him as i hardly know him.i guess i can’t help being honest and he said that i was lucky that i could afford to do this as there are many who can’t even take a day off as their entire family depends on them for bread.i agreed with him.i also told him that while my husband doesn’t need me to contribute to the family,i am still contributing to my parent’s household income and will always do so.the conversation made me feel awful as i felt that perhaps i should be exploiting my youth and energy and my potential.i should be aiming higher.afterall,more money means a better life.

but the question is – how do you define a better coming home to a swanky condo in an even swankier car but with a battered spirit better?maybe better doesn’t equate luxurious lifestyle.better life could just mean living a life that truly satisfies you and gives you a sense of accomplishment.and that could be anything to is just never same for you and your neighbour.

i can’t define my better.i don’t want is always evolving.what matters is the joy i feel in my heart.but i knew i had to quit what i was doing as it made me an angry person.the late hours were eating me.i came home almost every other night drained.completely.i felt like i was rushing every day but i wasnt rushing to save anyone’s life.i know i am not alone in this.i have seen many around me in the same situation.perhaps they know how to work around their work.i didn’t.maybe i didn’t try hard.perhaps i took the easy way out.maybe i didnt know how to work smart.maybe its not meant for with a sad heart and unclear future,i said a nervous goodbye.but in that myriad of feelings,i caught a glimpse of joy and that saw me through a long notice period.

and the chance to serve the lord is not about being lucky.its a blessing.unfortunately,many may not get a chance to for many reasons.but if the heart and spirit wants to,i am positive the chance will be created.on its own.effortlessly.i envy those who have made serving the lord their it in the church or welfare organisations etc.while the heart is aching for that,my flesh is not my lord created opportunities for me – the first was to help out in the children ministry every alternate sunday and now sept gives me the time to help as and when i can.i cant be grateful enough.

and i truly can’t be grateful enough for being alive and writing this now.i came home and found my stove on.the last time i used it was last night,24 hours ago,to brew Chrysanthemum tea for timmy.i am so sure i turned it off but i guess i didn’t.we did go to the kitchen this morning but it completely missed i dont know.all i could say was thank you jesus!

cant be grateful enough.

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord 

what are you grateful for today? 😀

oh my hair is growing!i can manage a little messy pony tail.ha.

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