loving my cock.

can u spot my cock?got two at four dollars at salvation army.i used it right away when i got home on sat but of course after thorough cleaning with hot water and soap.to get rid of its past.its past that i will never know but its future i have complete control over.been using it everyday since it became mine.to hold cut vegetables during dinner prep on sat,to hold orange slices in the fridge,to hold my sunday’s brekky of cereal mixed with yoghurt,to hold monday’s dinner of satay and peanut sauce.if u still havent figured,i am referring to the bowl that has the picture of a cock.what were u thinking?

i didn’t know what i was thinking when i stood up during a special song presentation for our nation’s birthday.the song was written by my church’s very own song writer and came alive with the help of lovely voices.it was such an awesome song that spoke of the past and the future.there was so much strength and passion and love in the music.i felt that my country is going to do so much better in the years to come,growing from strength to strength.and i really felt like i needed to stand to show appreciation not only for the music but for my country.it felt rude to sit on my bum.so in an auditorium of thousands of fellow church members,i stood up,choked with emotions.i felt like i was standing up for my kid who just got a special award or something.i really didn’t know how else to show my love and to salute the country that i call home since the day i was born.yes,my country is not perfect.there are things i simply hate and things that i love so much that i doubt i will ever leave this home.afterall,when i am not perfect,how can i expect a country of so many imperfect people to be perfect.to be flawless.i should not be selfish.i should not be I conscious.

i was introduced to this term by my pastor – I CONSCIOUS.sunday’s message was about how we should stop focusing on ourselves and to be JESUS conscious.throughout the 45mins or so message,i kept nodding in agreement to everything that was coming out of my pastor’s mouth.no,i wasn’t in a trance.i just couldn’t help but agree.especially when he said that “when you are I conscious,you end up suffering from either superiority complex or inferiority complex.”

at one point or another,we all have,in our own ways,suffered from either of the two.and the reason is because we looked at ourselves and compared what we have or don’t have to what others have or not have.i have a feeling this starts as young as perhaps 2 years old when a kid compares the toys he has to what his friends have or not have.this may be encouraged when his parents actually highlight how special he is to have that special toy.the kid cant help but start thinking he is the king.

it is hard to be not-self conscious.it is hard not to think of oneself before others.it is hard to focus on everything else but you.but if it makes life so much more enjoyable,fun and stress-free to not compare yourself to others,why not?i feel that life itself is a work in progress journey and it is never quite finished till the day you RIP.since it is WIP,we should take advantage of it and continuously look to better tomorrow.even if you are not in a space to be JESUS conscious,it is just as good to stop being I conscious.i have a feeling it will save you loads of grey hair and wrinkles and possibly medicine for hypertension.

there have been plenty of times when i catch myself suffering from complexity issues.while sometimes,it is out of envy,there are other times,to make myself feel better.better to you.but i have noticed that i have improved significantly over the years.perhaps its comes from getting older.perhaps its from the wisdom of my jesus that i pray to blessed with all the time.i know i will face challenges in this personal goal of mine-to stop feeling that i am better or worse than my neighbour and to be completely JESUS conscious.but like i said,my life is a work in progress and i have many many many days to continue working on my goal.

we are fast approaching 2011.perhaps it will be good to take some time out to think about your life and how you want to treat your life in 2011.perhaps life will love you more for it.perhaps,you will start enjoying life and start living.

sometime ago,someone told me that she was the youngest account director at her age and she asked me what i wanted in my life.till today,i cant help but wonder why she would want to tell me that and how she thought that piece of news would help me find my purpose in life.now i cant help but think its a classic situation of superiority and inferiority complex.what rocks you may not rock my world.thank god.

 

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3 thoughts on “loving my cock.

  1. KK! I simply love reading your blog entries. its lovely! keep writing. oh and i love your new cocky wares too. sucha lovely vintage find. now i know where to hunt for ’em. 😉

    • babe, u know where i can get that song that karen wrote? i want to listen to it again! yes please visit salvation army okay!and there are other places too which i will share with you once i visit them and know they are worth your visit!

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